Tallulah’s Story
Tallulah (age: 9 months) with her sister, Frannie, and parents, Joseph and Carmen
As my husband fed Tallulah her first bottle a few hours after her birth, I cried into my pillow.
I was tired, overwhelmed and frustrated with myself. Breastfeeding was not going well. Latching, sucking, the loud clicking sound her little tongue made, all of it was a struggle. I detailed all of these difficulties to my nurses, but they quickly dismissed my concerns. “Some babies just be like that,” one nurse said. “Try pumping,” another said. After multiple failed attempts at breastfeeding, the nurses brought in formula. But bottle feeding was also a struggle. Tallulah refused to eat. The clicking sound continued. And now, in addition, a frothy substance rushed from her nose every time that she fed. Again, we told the nurses. “It’s just reflux,” they said.
On the third day, the neonatologist cleared us for discharge. According to him, Tallulah was thriving. As we waited for our discharge papers, I attempted to breastfeed Tallulah again. At that moment, our lactation consultant happened to make one final visit. As she watched Tallulah eat, she heard the clicking sound and her facial expression turned into one of confusion. Within moments, both the nurse and neonatologist were brought in.
Both shared the same shocked expression as they looked into my baby’s mouth. The neonatologist, the same one who had just cleared Tallulah for discharge, explained to me that my daughter had a cleft palate. Suddenly the last three days made sense. The reason Tallulah could not breastfeed. Or bottle feed. The clicking sound. The frothy substance from her nose.
As we left the hospital, my husband and I felt unprepared for the journey ahead of us.
For the first few months of her life, Tallulah struggled with feeding and proper weight gain. During feedings, Tallulah would cough, gag and cry uncontrollably. I felt like I was drowning my own child. At two months old, Tallulah barely weighed 7 lbs. As her parents, we felt like complete failures.
At two months old, Tallulah was referred to Le Bonheur’s Cleft Palate Clinic, headed by Dr. Rosemary Stocks. Dr. Stocks and her team have been incredibly attentive and compassionate. They have helped us navigate biweekly doctors’ visits, daily weight checks, frequent changes to Tallulah’s diet and medicine regimen and a three-night stay at Le Bonheur. They have undoubtedly given us one of the best gifts we can ever expect to receive: seeing our daughter find joy in eating.
At eight months old, Tallulah is now 12.5 lbs and thriving.
In this season of life, my husband and I have learned to celebrate all the things, big and small. Today we are celebrating the progress that our sweet baby has made the past six months. She is the sweetest, happiest baby. She loves to eat, often smiling and cooing during feedings. Tallulah’s surgery is scheduled for November 23, two days before Thanksgiving. For the first time since Tallulah’s birth, my husband and I look towards the future with hopeful expectation.